Had the best evening.
Went out to see a show at the Fringe Festival with Grace. It was nice to have some one-on-one time with her because it had been a while, and a lot has happened that we needed to discuss and debrief about. The show was pretty good too, lots of laughs. Then it was time to go home, but when we got to her’s she invited me in for a cup of tea and suddenly we’d been sitting at her kitchen table talking for about three hours.
We talked about politics, feminism, the LGBTQ+ community, mental health and eating disorders, about mutual friends and trouble with ‘friends’, we got super serious about definitive life choices, and we laughed until we cried and Grace spat her water back into her bottle and down the front of her shirt. It was the fucking best.
This is exactly what friendship should be. It should be easy and organic; it should be constructive and supportive and collaborative and maybe even a little interrogative. You should be able to be honest and comfortable, and feel like your friendship is a safe space to work through things that have been rattling around in your brain. You should be able to laugh about the serious and silly stuff but also be steadfastly supportive and true in your respect for each other’s most important beliefs and core concerns. You should be able to help each other learn and grow, and you should be able to encourage each other’s curiosity and willingness to be open to discussions and debates.
Friendship should be life-affirming and warm. Spending time with your friend(s) should leave you feeling uplifted and stable and energised, and most importantly, you should be able to be yourself around your friends.
Grace does, facilitates, creates, allows – however you want to say it – all of these things. She is one in a million, and I don’t really know how I went so long without having her in my life. She’s just the gd best, honestly. She makes me so happy, and she brings out the absolute best in me. I like who I am when I’m with Grace, and I am grateful for her amazing friendship every day. No pun intended whatsoever, but she really has been the saving grace of the last year of two. Everything is always just so easy and right with her, and she makes me feel comfortable and supported, leaving no discussion off-topic and no conversational, moral, ethical, theoretical, political stone unturned.
She really is special. I am so lucky to be able to call her my friend.
*originally posted 15 February 2017